Happy Mother’s Day! I thought this year instead of doing the “normal” post, I’d try something a little different. So I put some questions together and asked all of the mom’s out there to answer them. I got several responses and while reading through the answers; I laughed, teared up and felt all warm and fuzzy. I want to share the questions/answers with you because some of the answers really surprised me. Some weren’t answers I’d expect, but that’s kind of the point of my post.
1. What’s the hardest part about being a Mother?
-One of the hardest parts of being a mother is using tough love. You hate to see your child suffer when making bad choices but they have to learn. Knowing when to step in to help can be difficult also.
-Time. I want to spend time with my child, but also balance responsibilities at work and around the house. I always come last.
-Mothering my baby who isn’t here (stillborn.) Still being recognized as her mother, though I have no baby to show for it
-Multitasking and the ability to maintain short-term memory! I need new RAM for for my brain. 🙂
-Not being able to fix everything for your kids or give them everything you wish you could. Not being able to raise them as you see fit because it might not be how society thinks they should be raised (like letting them walk to a park alone during the daytime). Constantly wondering if you’re completely screwing them up and praying they don’t write a book about it in their 20’s. Watching them grow up is also pretty hard. When they no longer want to play with you. Excuse me while I go get a tissue.
-Not enough time!
-Trying to do the best you can for all of your children. Admitting that no one is a perfect mother. I know I wasn’t and still am not. Ha.
-Being away from my children
-Milestones like crawling, walking, talking, then back talking! Lol! I biggest challenge I’ve experienced so far is explaining death.
-The sheer exhaustion. It is a 24/7 experience. I homeschool so I am rarely away from them. I love them but am exhausted.
-Worrying about their happiness. Constantly.
2. What’s the proudest moment you’ve felt as a Mother?
-When my daughter asked to do a donation party for our local animal shelter in lieu of gifts. Pro end mother of a 3 year old!
-When my 5 year old son said to my 7 year old daughter, “Boys can have boyfriends, and girls can have girlfriends.” He is right on! 🙂
-No one moment, but watching my children grow and mature and find their own happiness! Nothing better than to see them happy!
-My proudest moment was watching each one of my children graduate high school.
-There are too many moments to pick just one. Seeing my son hug and kiss his teachers at the end of the day makes me smile. He loves everyone and is such a sweet kid.
-Pushing her out without any pain meds!!…and everytime she makes a stranger smile, just by being herself.
-When someone asked my son what his favorite part of Christmas was he replied “that Jesus was born so he could die for our sins”
-Seeing my son for the first time in the delivery room! 🙂
-A teacher once told me a story about how my son took a very shy student in the class and became his friend. He introduced him to the other boys in his ‘crew’ and made sure to include him when they’d play games on the playground. She heard him tell one of the boys who didn’t like the shy boy, “Dude, don’t be mean to my friend. If you just hang-out with us a little bit you’ll see he’s cool, too.” She then added, “Your son brings JOY to people in everything he does. After being around him I just feel joyful.”
-Seeing my son understand something. Seeing him put two and two together and make something out of that understanding.
-When my babies were born
3. What’s the biggest mistake you’ve made as a Mother?
-Not reading to my son enough or speaking to him enough – since he is a little delayed in speaking, yet he understands everything he’s being told or asked. Reading to children is most likely an integral piece of tool to help speech development.
-Ha! Lots of them, but I hope I made up for them at some point. I’m not sure that I can pick one, but maybe using a babysitter too much so that I could go out.
-Criticizing myself as a mother too much.
-Losing my patience too much.
-I cut the piece of pizza in half. My toddler wanted it whole. 🙂 Epic meltdown.
-Worrying too much.
-Listening to everyone else and not completely trusting my instincts.
-I hover too much. I am only recently realizing that I don’t allow him to do enough on his own and make mistakes. This goes along with not having enough time.
-I wish I would have made more time to be at ALL of the extra activities my children were involved in.
-Working long hours and taking it out on my children because I am tired and have lost all patience by the time I get home
-I inadvertently told him what a certain curse word means. He thought that was awesome. I wanted to die.
4. What’s the one piece of advice you’d share to other Mother’s
-You will always know what is best for your child. What is best for your child may not be best for someone else and vice versa.
-Seriously, remember you can never do this day over. Ever. MAKE IT COUNT!!!
-Always support your children no matter what your opinion is. Allow them to be their own person.
-You do what works for your family, follow your instincts. If you ask two people the same question about parenting, you will get two different answers. So just do it the way that works for you.
-Be patient. Give your children lots of kisses. Tell them you love them before they go to bed. And… if you’re having one of those, “Oh, my god, I can’t even…” moments, take a step back, take a deep breathe and hum a happy song.
-Don’t judge each other. We all do things differently and need to support each other.
-Go with your gut feeling. Not every choice will be the “correct” one, but we know our kids best and should know what is the right thing for them. Also, to be a parent first and a friend after that.
-Take in every moment. Enjoy it all. Soak it in.
-Appreciate every moment with them
5. If you are/were a single mother, what’s the biggest challenge?
-My biggest challenge is trying to give myself a “me day”! I think if I had a partner who I can share my child with, then I could at least take one day off a week or bi-weekly just to decompress and re-energize.
-Me time.
-Separating time for each child can be a big problem as a single mother.
-If I was? Probably not having a break….moms need those…
-How to be the sole provider and care for my child at the same time with no help
-Finding time to work multiple jobs to support the family and still have time and energy to be with my kids.
6. What’s one thing you wish you could tell your children? Something that you’d want them to know?
-I never knew love until I met you.
-I think one thing that I will tell my child is this, “Be yourself. If other people (kids) make fun of you or don’t understand you, then that is their problem and not yours.”
-I would give up my life for them. I have sacrificed many thing (career, travel, free time), but would not change it for the world.
-It is the best, most important thing I have ever done.
-How great of a person her Mimi was (my mother in law). Everyone always says “you’ll share all your memories with her.” I’d give up the many years with Mrs. Taylor just for my daughter to spend 10 minutes with her at an age she’ll remember.
-You will save a lot of time and energy by not trying to cross every single line.
-Stop freaking out. It’s going to be okay. You’re a kid. Have fun. And stop comparing yourself to other kids. You are awesome just being you. And stop telling your mom that so-and-so’s mom is better at this or that. She’s doing the best she can and that makes her awesome!
-Be you. Who cares what your friends do….stay true to who you are kiddo!
-I would want my children to know that no matter what I will always be proud of them for who they are.
-That I love them with all my heart and I hope they know that!
7. What’s the one thing you would have done differently as a Mother?
-Got rid of the t.v. the day they were born!
-Spend more time with them and not be so focused on my career
-Nothing so far. After losing my first baby, I decided to make the most of every opportunity, to parent to the best of my ability, to be present and let my kid be a kid, while teaching him life lessons at the same time. I do not save him from every hurt, but I am always there.
-Be more patient.
-Worry less.
-If I could go back I would have allowed more time for family activities instead of worrying about house work.
-I would have put him in daycare sooner, just to be exposed to other children and people more.
-I would hover less.
-Nothing 🙂
-Spent more time with them!
-Got rid of the t.v. the day they were born!
-Spend more time with them and not be so focused on my career
-Nothing so far. After losing my first baby, I decided to make the most of every opportunity, to parent to the best of my ability, to be present and let my kid be a kid, while teaching him life lessons at the same time. I do not save him from every hurt, but I am always there.
8. Do you think it’s easier or harder to be a Mother now?
-Depends. Things are different now, but there are many more opportunities if you have access to them and can afford them. But at the same time, there are so many more things that are available for them that it would be hard to keep track of all that could be going on – Internet, etc.
-Best challenge…ever changing….but always a challenge.
-Harder the world is a scary place
-I think it’s harder in today’s world….so much technology and social media. So much to have to teach the kids about when it comes to social media. Always being worried about who could be talking to your child or stalking your child. Teaching them to be appropriate…etc.
-I don’t think it’s changed at all in all these years.
-It’s a challenge everyday. I only have one, so it’s hard to determine if it is has become easier or harder… I’m assuming, it’ll become much easier once he’s off to college.
-I’m gonna say harder, because it’s so easy with the internet to bully otherwise kids, and for yours to hide stuff from you…
-Both. Harder because there is so many choices and expectations. Easier because we have a lot of thing to make life more convenient
-I am constantly worried that someone will disagree with a parenting choice and call the state. That my children will be taken from me. I don’t feel I do anything to warrant that, but sometimes the world we live in is a little crazy.
9. Is there anything you wished you could or could have told your Mother?
-Thanks Mom for bringing me into this world and trying the best that you can in raising me. I’m not doing hardcore drugs, binge drinking every night, or robbing banks – so I think I turned out fine!
-I think she knew I loved her even though we weren’t very close. I would have told her more often!
–I wish we would have been closer.
-Thankful for her sacrifices and always supporting me and sharing her creativity that always inspires me
-You did an awesome job. So thankful you are my role model and the person I can call for advice. Sorry I call you before the 24hr nurse line…
-That she did/is doing a good job and I was always certain that she loved me no matter what.
-I wish my mother would have lived long enough for me to tell her how much I appreciated her and how much she did for us.
-She chose to raise us differently than I raise my son, but we all do the best we can.
-I wish I would have told my mother I loved her more.
-I’m sorry I always threatened to run away mama….
10. What’s the one way your children can make you happy?
-Lots of hugs
-Live with the understanding that God is with you all the time.. you are always loved.
-Leave me alone for like 5 minutes and stop fighting with each other.
-Be content in who they are.
-If he’d just flush the toilet in the mornings before school, I’d be the happiest woman in the world.
-when she is happy
-To have happy lives and to stay in touch and talk to me so I know they are ok!
-By being happy themselves!! Watching them laugh never fails to bring me happiness!
-When my children come over just to hang out makes me very happy. It tells me that there were thinking about me.
He already does! 🙂
-When he smiles and gives me huggies and kissies.
Happy Mother’s Day
I took away so much from reading these stories. I’ve read through them so many times because I find each answer fascinating. What I took from each of the answers above is that you want nothing but the best for your children. You will sacrifice everything for them. You might make mistakes every now and then (I think that’s completely normal), but you love your children more than anything in the world and want nothing but love and happiness for them. Also, wine is always a good idea. LOL!
Meet my mom!
I might not be a mother myself, but I know how hard of a job being a mom is. My mom raised me and my two younger brothers all alone. She worked two jobs at times and even had part-time odds and ends jobs to make ends meet. She struggled a lot and I probably didn’t always realize how bad it was at the time, but we always had a roof over our head and food on our plates. I know my mom sacrificed a lot of her life for us. She didn’t get alone time or free time at all. I probably wasn’t the easiest to deal with at times (nor were my brothers) and I ‘m sure we caused her a lot of grief. Bottom line is that my mom worked her butt off for us. I wouldn’t be the person I am today without my mom and all that she did for me. I know she loves me more than anything and she probably questions a lot of our childhood and what not, BUT she raised three children on her own and we all made it! I don’t think I could have asked for a better mom.
**I know that this is being posted after Mother’s Day (thanks to some unexpected website issues) but I hope that you all had a great Mother’s Day and hopefully, you got at least five minutes of alone time to just take a moment to relax. Hopefully, you didn’t have to do laundry or cook dinner. What I hope most of all is that you knew how much you were loved!! I also want to point out that I also get that Mother’s Day is hard for some. Whether you’re still missing your own mother or you’re still struggling to be a mother yourself, know that I thought of you all day long. My mom said it best- Sometimes special days can sometimes suck. I couldn’t have said it better myself, mom.
Thank you so much to everyone who helped answer my questions! I appreciate it so much!
Great to read! Seems many had similar thoughts & situations & some funny comments too! Great idea for a blog. But you made me cry! 🙂
Okay. I finally had the chance to read this and I loved everyone’s answers!! 🙂 Funny, heart-felt, and some answers did make me tear up.. this post = great idea! 🙂