There is nothing better than a trip to the mall on a lazy afternoon. This is what I USED to tell myself. I’d walk store to store, pick up things I thought I liked and instantly, I felt better. So I thought. Here’s a question that I’d like for you to think about for a minute. When you’re making these random, impulse purchases, how are they making you happy? When you’re up late at night and you’re online shopping, what is that doing to better your life and your situation? Psst…A trip to the mall isn’t helping you like you think it is.
Through my journey into this whole minimalism and budgeting experience, I’ve come to realize that I used to shop to replace things/feelings that were missing from my life. I was addicted to that feeling that getting new “things” would bring me. So over and over again I’d go and buy new clothes, pick up new makeup and fill my office with an endless supply of things I didn’t really need. Why? Because I loved that feeling of something new to try. I kept me busy, it occupied my time. I convinced myself that these “things” were actually making me happy. Until one day when I woke up and found myself surrounded by so much stuff and I couldn’t take it anymore. As Oprah says, I had an Ah-Ha moment.
Shopping has been my go-to drug that got me through tough days. Feeling sad and alone? Let’s go shopping! Hate the way you look in the clothes you’re putting on? Let’s go shopping for something new! It’s a high, at least for me anyways. See the real problem was that I was miserable. There had been things going on in my life that I couldn’t fix. Shopping was the distraction I told myself I needed. So I’d buy makeup that I didn’t need at all. I’d treat myself to clothes that I’d never end up wearing. It was a vicious cycle. It had to stop.
That trip to the mall isn’t helping you like you think it is. Instead, it’s hiding some real issues that you’ve got going on in your life. I’m not talking about trips to the mall for when you actually need something. You see, there’s a difference. Going to Sephora and buying makeup remover is one thing. Going to Sephora and buying a new eyeshadow palette, a new foundation brush, a face mask and an eyeliner when you have all of those things at home already is what I’m talking about.
I walked into my office one day and realized just how bad my situation was. It was the first time that I knew I had to figure out what the hell was going on in my life, because obviously something was going on. I had so much makeup that there was no way I could physically use all of it. I had purses with price tags still on them, I had so much washi tape and planner stickers that it would take me years to actually use. I had wrapping paper from a fancy stationary store that I was never using. I had so many books that I hadn’t read, yet there was a bag from barnes & noble sitting on my floor with brand-new books. It was just piles and piles of stuff everywhere I looked, in each room. At the time, I thought these were things that I needed, but I realized at that moment that these were just “things” that I was buying to get myself out of this slump I’d been in.
The truth is, I had been going through some not-so-fun issues that were weighing heavy on my heart and just normal day-to-day life situations were causing me to feel this need to fill my life with “things” that I thought brought happiness, but instead they brought clutter and hid the real issues I was needing to deal with. Sure going shopping helped me feel better at the time, but honestly, it never took away the pain and sadness I had behind the scenes.
So I stopped my shopping habits. I quit going to the stores as often. I quit looking at emails and unsubscribed to the stores that were sending me things. I stopped going to the mall as much as I used to. I finally realized that even though I’m a blogger, that I don’t need to buy every single product that is released. Now don’t get me wrong, I miss the hell out of those all day shopping trips. They were fun, but I realize that I don’t need all of those “things” to make me feel better about myself and I was wasting tons of money. Instead, I’m trying to find happiness in what I do have already. I like to “shop” my stash now instead of hitting up the stores. Obviously, there will always be some things that I really do need and it’s not like I’m going to stay out of the stores forever, but for my budgets sake and for me personally, I need to remind myself that I need to work with what I have.
Shopping is fun and I’m not saying to not ever walk into a store. I’m just asking you to think about the reasons behind all of those late night online shopping sessions. I’m truly trying to embrace this whole “less is more” thing and I’ll admit that it’s not the easiest thing, but I’m working on it being something I truly believe!
I’m right there with you, girlfriend! I didn’t really shop a lot…but I was getting a lot of stuff I didn’t need. I have been doing really good at not buying things I don’t need…it’s been awhile and I’ve decluttered a lot of my makeup as well. I’ll be decluttering my closet next and I’m actually going to be having a huge storage unit clean out and garage sale over the summer. I’m sick of having so much stuff! Love that you are embracing this change and helping others along the way! Go girl!
xo, Lily
Beauty With Lily
Thank you, Lily! I love writing posts like these because I feel like they’re all something we can relate to!
I love this because I SO get it. The past year (plus) has been really tough and I’ve been going through some things… and this is exactly how I handled it. Shitty day at work? Buy a bar cart! Bad day? Go to Ulta! I have spent thousands of dollars on shit that I don’t need and gained 20 pounds (that I could not afford to gain) instead of dealing with my problems. You are not alone, friend. Thank you for writing and putting into words what I could not.
Dealing with our problems isn’t always fun and I know that me personally, I’ll try to put it off and just shove it to the back and try to forget about it, BUT that doesn’t work and we end up with bar carts and lots of things from Ulta we don’t need. Right?!?! This is the year that I deal with shit! No more crazy shopping trips where I buy a bunch of things i don’t need. Instead, I’m working on myself and all of my problems. It might not be all sunshine and rainbows over here, but I think I’ll be better in the long run!
Such an on point post. So many of us shop to avoid what we are feeling. I’ve experienced the same thing in regards to my closet, make up (everything). Acknowledging how we feel is hard but so much more rewarding than a large credit card bill. Thanks for this!
Aww thank you for those sweet words!! It’s been amazing to see the comments and such that so many others struggle with the same thing!
THIS. This is something I didn’t realize I did until last year. I don’t have a spending problem, I have a trying-to-fix-feelings-with-stuff problem. You worded this so well, friend.
Totally understand the trying-to-fix-feelings-with-stuff problem. It’s such an easy habit to start and let me tell ya, it isn’t easy fixing it! I’m working on it though!!
This is so true ..and i had this realization last year. Since then i have been asking a question to myself when buying something do i need this ? do i have something similar ? It has kept me from buying so much makeup, clothing, bags. Also for stuff which i already have, i have started using it. For makeup i have kind of plan to finish stuff in a 3 month time or may be a year. I haven’t bought a foundation probably for six months. I am persistent to finish all my current ones and then go ahead buy a new one.Stress makes me buy a lot of stuff …
Stress is such an instigator for my shopping habits. It used to be that when i was stressed I’d just go to the mall. However, I don’t NEED a single thing when it comes to makeup and skincare. I’m really trying hard this time to get rid of clutter and use up what I have!
So glad you’re doing so well with this! It is so easy to just go shopping, it takes a lot of discipline. You should totally do a post about your decluttering process if you haven’t already (I’ve seen them everywhere lately and can’t remember if you did one :-] )
I should totally do a post on my decluttering process because Im right in the middle of it and my office literally looks like a tornado went through it! AHHH!!! I’m really trying this time!!!
I think this post is about something that most of us can relate too! I’m currently on an almost “no shopping” binge – that sometimes goes a little to the extreme in the wrong way! lol So easy to do something like shopping to avoid dealing with other things. It’s also a way to get out of the house! Luckily I can now “shop” without buying.
Please do a de-cluttering post! That is definitely something that I need to work on. I’m slowly going through closets. It’s going to take awhile! 🙁
I am the worst window-shopper in the world! It’s just never been something I enjoyed, ha. So now I just try to stay away! If I do go shopping, I try to keep it under control and think about purchases before just instantly buying everything.
I can do a de-cluttering post!
I am guilty of this too! (Makeup and food are my weaknesses.) Kudos to you for taking a step back from the stores, I can imagine it’s not easy!
I think we are all guilty of this in one way or another. I know I am! I am definitely cutting back on the makeup and beauty spending. But I do still have things I need of my home. But once I get it done I will cut back on my spending for decor as well. Makes you realize how much we spend and how much we rely on things for happiness and its a vicious cycle really.
I guess I’m lucky in a way that I hate actually going to the mall and shopping. I love online shopping though but I feel so good for making it a month of not buying any makeup. Many years ago I realized that “new” only makes me happy for 5 minutes. All that excitement eventually wears off. I think a lot of us can relate to this. Awesome post Christine!
Paula
Thirteen Thoughts