If I had to talk to you about one thing that I have learned since figuring out this whole “adult” thing, it would be that in order to have a very happy life, you have to do what makes you happy! Easier said than done for some, including me, but not impossible!
I’ve learned the hard way that living a life for others instead of yourself, isn’t the way to go about things. I’m 100% a people pleaser and it’s the one thing that I wish I could change about myself. It’s not that I don’t like doing things for others because I honestly do, but sometimes it’s put me in situations where I should have just said no. If you’re constantly making others happy, who’s making you happy??
I had a career that made me pretty happy for a while. However, I had no life. I never got to see my husband, family or friends. I worked the holidays and the weekends and I suffered through long commutes because of traffic. I made decent money and I loved the industry that I was working in, but the day-to-day drama and situations that were out of my control made it difficult to enjoy it anymore. I was constantly stressed and I brought work home all of the time. Two things I learned from this situation. One, I needed a work/ life separation. It wasn’t fair to my husband for me to constantly talk about work and nothing else. Two, I needed a career that I was actually happy with. I get it that you can’t just up and quit your job (or maybe you can?!?) but honestly, finding something that I love doing has made such a difference in my life. Professionally and personally.
I’ve lost many people in my life, suddenly, and it’s taught me to always say to myself “You’re never guaranteed a tomorrow.” I get on to my husband about this a lot. He will say things like “Oh, we’ll get around to it sometime. We have plenty of time.” Losing others, from cancer to even suicide has taught me to live each day to it’s fullest. A band I love, Social Distortion, has a song and one of the lyrics is “Tomorrow may never come.” Remember that. Not in a weird, depressed way, but that we have to remind ourselves to do more of what makes us happy in life daily. Think about what makes you happy, truly happy and try to do more of that in your life! Also, take time to spend with loved ones and friends. Seriously.
One of the hardest things to realize is that there might be people in your life who just aren’t making you happy or who are taking happiness away from you. You’ve tried to have them in your life, but in the end, it’s more of you doing the work and not them. It’s hard when we have “toxic” relationships. There are people in my life (or who used to be) that I referred to as vampires because they just suck the life out of you! I know plenty of people who seriously suffer through these relationship. Myself included. Whether it be marriage, friendships or family, you can allow yourself to take a step back and remove that from your life. Don’t be afraid!! I’ve walked away from friends and even family members. Was it a hard decision? Yes! Do I regret it now? Not at all.
Here’s what I’m going to suggest- get yourself a list. Take some time to write down what makes you happy! Take some time to think about situations, relationships and other things that you AREN’T happy with and that you’d like to change. It might even be things within yourself that you need to change. Focus on that! It won’t happen overnight, but make positive changes in your life to better yourself.
Do more of what makes you happy! Life is too short to say you will tomorrow or the next day or the day after that. TRUST me. I get that game, but what about today!?!? Today seems like just as good of a day as any other to start making yourself happy and working on you! #GottaDoYou
I agree with you girlie, it’s too short and we should be kind to people. I love that you quoted Social Distortion because we are Punk household around here 🙂 Glad to have met you so we can support each other on our healthier,happier journeys!
GIRL!!! I love SD!! I got a chance to see them in Nashville a couple years ago and it was amazing! It’s been great getting to connect more and more with you!
You are spot on! I really wish people would be kinder to one another. There’s too much hate. Now get to your wonderful list! Stacie xo
I agree with all your points, especially the ones on toxic relationships and career. I was in a job where I had to take my toothbrush and nailfile to work. No time for reading, collectibles or any of my hobbies, or even a haircut. Ugh! Glad it’s all over now 🙂 Me-time is very, very important.
Working in a career like that is physically and mentally exhausting and there just comes a time when it’s like, ok enough is enough! Me-Time is so important!
I have started reading more and my blog has suffered a bit from it, but you know what? I don’t really care. I missed reading so much but I was always too busy blogging during any down time I had. Also, I want to get more into photography as well. Great post Christine!
Sometime I feel so overwhelmed by blog work. A lot of people think we can easily just throw a post together and it takes zero work or thought at all. However, we both know that’s not true and I’ve spent so many nights lately up till 2 or 3 in the morning and starting all over again at 7. I have to remind myself to take breaks and still do things I love. Reading is one of them! I’ve always wanted to be in a book club or start one. I just love getting lost in a book!
I definitely have no figured out how to be an adult yet, so thank you for this post! I was in a miserable job (the management was just horrible, one in particular was very fake and passive aggressive) so after much deliberation, I quit. Now I’m looking for another job, but at least I’m not hating my life right now. I’m a little stressed, because job searching sucks, but at least I’m not coming home upset every night. It takes a real adult to say what you did. A lot of people get scared and stick with something they hate just because they feel like they have to, because they feel it’s the “safe” option. (Also, I love food trucks! I really miss living in Boston, and that’s one of the reasons why! There are so many good ones!)
I’m getting there. Being an adult is some hard work!! Why did no one tell me this before, ha!!! Sometimes the safe option isn’t the best option and that’s what I found out!
man, I really needed this post today. Thank you so much for your inspiring words. I’ve really been struggling with figuring out what makes me happy career wise and I really need to focus on more than just my career. Focus on what things in general make me happy and go from there. Good luck with your list, i’m about to go make one of my own :-]
I’m so glad it helped!! You are so welcome! Gotta do what makes you happy!
I need to read this over and over and over and make myself do some of the things that you mentioned! The healthy me has gone by the wayside lately, due to crazy reasons like – rotator cuff surgery, a crazy hyper puppy, husbands work schedule, laziness, etc. etc. I will be so glad when I can start working out again, but in the meantime, I need to find a way to do something! My eating habits have turned to crap. 🙁 I try and then I get bored and I eat junk! Work is slow, life is a little crazy and I have kind of lost my way…. not in a dangerous bad way, but in a “this isn’t me” way. Thanks for the reminder that we all need to take the time to do the things we love and enjoy! Maybe I’ll be able to crochet again soon now that I can finally move my arm. ha ha That is actually relaxing to me (as long as that crazy puppy doesn’t try and steal my yarn)!!
I have a feeling that might be best to do when she is in her crate, ha! I can see that going bad so quickly!!
This is such good advice! I have had to get rid of some toxic friendships. It was very hard but very worth it in the end. I can’t wait to read more of these posts!